Thursday, April 21, 2011

Foods suited for the shower

I got hungry in the shower yesterday (or whenever I last showered) and decided to review foods you can enjoy in the shower. First, I ruled out very broad categories. Pastry, for instance, is very sensitive to moisture so that rules out lots of foods from baguettes to empanadas to Hot Pockets. I ruled out anything served in a bowl: you don't want to water down your soup or cool your oatmeal. Anyway, splash factor makes the notion untenable. For that matter, anything served on a plate is out for many reasons, the simplest of which is drain clogging. Also, water would wash dressings and sauces right off. Most hand-held foods have a pastry factor i.e. burritos, but there is one category that stands up to the shower foods test: fruits and vegetables. Anything that requires seasoning, dressing or dipping is out, so keep artichokes out of the bathroom. Anything requiring a utensil is out such as grapefruit or avocado.

Although I've almost ruled out all food, here are my top three:

Bananas! Be sure to discard the peal where it is not prone to fall on the floor of your shower, otherwise it will create a (albeit hilarious) safety hazard.

Plumbs! The satisfying juiciness of a perfectly ripe plumb is in other contexts problematic. The way juices foster sticky hands and roll down your chin and onto your clothes is never a problem in the shower.

Carrots! Be sure to peal your carrot elsewhere and avoid carrot sticks, otherwise have at it. Mr. Carrot loves the water and his refreshing crunch will enhance your sensual shower experience.

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