Make this, but follow the instructions carefully...

The Perfect Grilled Cheese

Best made one-at-a-time for the home cook and eaten immediately. If you are trying to impress someone with your handle on things you ate when you were 6, consider setting up a station with two or more skillets. Avoid panini presses at all costs because our parents never intended to feed us ten dollar sandwiches. The simple secret to the perfect grilled cheese is the application of heat to all bread surfaces.

Sliced sourdough bread, 3/4 to 1 inch

Gruyere

White American cheddar

Herbed chevre

Butter at room temperature

Salt

Pepper

Garlic cloves

Olive oil

Ironic t-shirt

Jeans that cost more than you pay for rent

Put on the clothes because those sweat pants you were wearing since you woke up at noon will not do. Warm a stainless steel skillet. Medium low or "3" seems to be the ideal setting on my hot plate. Butter both slices of sourdough bread on each side. Be generous. Apply just a touch of olive oil to the pan to prevent your sandwich from toasting too quickly. Your buttered pieces go down and get a nice crust, 90 seconds to 2 minutes. Remember that you are only toasting the inside of your sandwich so you are not perfecting the overall beauty, you are just enhancing taste and texture.

Congratulations! You have perfectly toasted the inside of your sandwich. It's time to start thinking about cheese. Think about how much you would slice gruyere and white cheddar for any other sandwich, then double it. Spread the chevre on one toasted surface and stack your cheeses. Add salt and pepper. Proceed with toasting the outer surface of your sandwich open-faced.

While you wait for the outer surface of your sandwich to transform into golden brown goodness, talk to your friend (and if your friend is not near by, call him on your iPhone) about Craft american singles and Wonder Bread. Mention Campbell's tomato soup as you warm something called "organic tomato tarragon bisque." Be sure to have a conversation for no longer than 3 minutes, otherwise your sandwich will burn.

Close your sandwich like a good book. Once your sandwich has cooled for a moment, halve a garlic clove and rub the exposed side on the exterior surfaces. You're ready to eat.

Consider enjoying your sandwich with cornichons. Drink a PBR. Even though you don't have a job, plan on moving to Williamsburg.