Thursday, June 23, 2011

chili cheese dogs

So if you want to pick up someone, I don't recommend this tactic. The picker-up, a portly man of about 40 with thick glasses and an incurable lisp tried to pick up on my friend, who recently went to jail. This is how it went:

P.M.: Hey! How are you doing? Have we met? I'm Orlando.

Friend: We've met several times.

P.M.: You're looking good! Have you been working out?

(P.M. squeezes Friend's arm.)

Friend: No. I haven't.

P.M.: You haven't? Well have you been eating chili cheese dogs?

Friend: Um, no.

P.M.: Have you tried the chili cheese dogs at 7-11?

Friend: No.

P.M.: You haven't? They're my favorite chili cheese dogs! You should try them!

Friend: Okay.

P.M.: Call me some time and we'll go get chili cheese dogs at 7-11, okay? High five.

(The conversation ends awkwardly. Friend makes an excuse about needing a drink, which was probably the case.)


  1. i got a chilli cheese dawg right heya

  2. Your writing is so evocative. It's like I was there.

  3. You probably were there. Think about it.